January Blues...

I’m not gonna say it’s easy sitting here trying to get myself together to write a blog post because all in all I know it will make me feel better however, January is hitting me hard this year; I’ve started a brand new decade where in ten whole years my life could change I could have a whole different life from what I lead now, married kids and all that malarkey! 

January blues are hitting me harder than ever... I’m looking back at all those things I’ve achieved all those things I haven’t achieved. All those doctors and hospital appointments hitting rock bottom and learning to do it all on my own. Teaching myself that is ok to feel scared and alone, scared and worried questioning whether I will be able to ever have the opportunity to know whether I’d come out of rock bottom. 

However here we are, I’m having fun writing this escaping the demons from inside my mind to create something that I enjoy... i want to create and bring back the content I enjoy. No pressures no worries just being myself! Just keep believing in myself. I said to my friends I don’t want you to think that I’m ignoring you or not seeing you because you’ve done anything wrong I’m not ignoring anyone I’m working on myself for myself to make 2020 the best year possible I that means that I need to take some time out I need to focus on myself and if I wanna come home from work and just sleep and that’s why I just want my mentality and everything to be better and healthier and be the best it can be. I don’t want to be afraid of life anymore i want to enjoy it. I don’t want to be scared anymore. We waste so many good opportunities by being sad that being sad isn’t worth it. 

So here’s to the January blues may we live them and may we loathe them. May they shape us and teach us....

Here’s to the biggest decade of our lives